Preparation Begins Before Day One

A new nanny arriving in your home is a big change for everyone involved. Your children are adjusting to a new face, your nanny is learning a whole household's rhythms, and you are handing over the care of the people you love most. The good news is that the first fortnight or so does most of the work. Get that period right and the months that follow tend to run smoothly.

Think of it as a settling-in period rather than a test. Nobody expects a new nanny to know that your youngest will only nap with the blue rabbit, or that your eldest needs a snack the moment they walk through the door after school. That knowledge has to be built, and it is your job to hand it over generously and patiently.

Get the Practicalities Sorted Early

Admin done in advance frees up the first weeks for the things that actually matter: relationships. Before your nanny starts, make sure the groundwork is in place.

• A written contract covering hours, duties, pay, holiday, sick leave and notice. If you employ a nanny directly, you will need to sort out PAYE, National Insurance and pension contributions — payroll software or an accountant can handle this, and it is worth setting up before the first payday rather than after.
• A current enhanced DBS check, plus a paediatric first aid certificate. Ask to see both.
• Emergency information in writing: your mobile numbers, a second contact, the GP surgery, any allergies, medical conditions or medications, and the vet's number if you have pets.
• House logistics: spare keys or a door code, alarm instructions, Wi-Fi password, where the buggy and car seats live, parking arrangements and any rules about visitors.
• Food and household preferences — what the children eat, what is off limits, and whether your nanny is welcome to help herself to the kitchen.

Plan a Gentle First Week

Where you can, arrange an overlap. A day or two of you being at home while your nanny takes the lead lets children see that you trust this person, and lets your nanny ask questions as they arise rather than saving them all up.

Keep the first day short and low-key. A trip to the park or a session of favourite games at home is plenty. Avoid scheduling anything ambitious — no first-day soft play marathon with a toddler who has just met this adult.

If your nanny is new to the area, point out the local library, the best playground, the nearest baby change and the route to school. Small local knowledge saves a lot of stress in week one.

Show Them How Your Family Runs

Written routines are invaluable, but showing beats telling. Walk your nanny through the morning sequence, the nap wind-down, the after-school routine and the bedtime ritual. Let her watch you do it once, then do it alongside you, then take over while you hover just outside the room.

Be specific about the things that matter to you — screen limits, how you handle tantrums, whether you use reward charts, how much outdoor time you want — and equally clear about what you do not mind. If you genuinely do not care whether the toddler eats broccoli, say so. Ambiguity creates anxiety.

Do mention the quirks. The child who needs a particular cup. The dog who bolts for the front door. The neighbour who pops round on Thursdays. These details are the difference between a nanny who feels confident and one who feels set up to fail.

Give Space — and Stay Reachable

Once the first few days are done, step back. Hovering, correcting in front of the children or sending a stream of messages undermines your nanny's authority and makes it harder for children to transfer their trust.

Agree how you want to communicate during the day. Many families settle on "text only if something is wrong, otherwise we'll talk at handover". That gives your nanny room to get on with the job and gives you permission to stop checking your phone every ten minutes.

If you are working from home, be honest about the challenge. A child who knows you are in the next room will often push for you, and that can feel like rejection to a new nanny. Where possible, work in a separate space, keep the door shut, and let your nanny handle the moment unless she asks for help.

Keep Talking, Then Review at Four Weeks

A short handover at the end of each day works far better than a long one. What did they eat, how did they sleep, what made them laugh, anything to watch out for. A shared notebook or app means nothing gets forgotten.

Praise specifically — "you handled that meltdown brilliantly" lands better than a general "you're doing great". And if something is not working, raise it early and kindly, rather than letting it fester for a month.

Expect a wobble. Children often regress slightly when a new carer arrives, becoming clingier or more testing. This usually passes within two to three weeks with consistency and warmth.

Finally, book a proper review at the four-week mark. Sit down over a cup of tea, ask your nanny how she is finding things, share what is working and tweak what is not. A nanny who feels listened to in the early days will settle faster, stay longer and care for your children all the better for it.