Hiring a nanny is unlike hiring for almost any other role. You are inviting someone into your home and trusting them with the person you love most. A warm manner and a glowing reference will only take you so far — the interview is your best chance to learn how a candidate really works when nobody is watching. The trick is to ask questions that are specific enough to produce real answers rather than rehearsed ones.

Start with the practicalities

Get the logistics out of the way first. If the hours, the location or the driving requirements do not work, nothing else matters, and both of you will be glad to know it early. Be direct and unapologetic about what the job actually involves.

• Can you commit to these hours for at least the next twelve months?
• Do you drive, and would you be happy to use your own car for the school run?
• Are you comfortable with pets, stairs, and a house that is rarely tidy?
• Are you registered for tax, or would you like us to sort out PAYE together?

Listen for straightforward answers. Hesitation about the fundamentals is worth noting — a candidate who quietly plans to move on in three months is a problem you can avoid now.

Experience that matches your family

Asking how many years someone has been nannying tells you very little. What matters is whether their experience lines up with your child's age and your household's rhythm.

• Tell me about the ages you have worked with most, and which you enjoy most.
• What was the longest time you spent with one family, and why did it end?
• Have you worked sole charge before, with no other adult in the house?
• Have you cared for twins, a child with additional needs, or a nanny share?

Ask follow-up questions about how previous jobs ended. Most reasons are perfectly ordinary — a family moved abroad, a child started school — but a pattern of short stays, or a reluctance to discuss them, is worth exploring gently.

A typical day, hour by hour

Abstract questions invite abstract answers. Concrete ones are much harder to fake, so ask a candidate to walk you through a recent afternoon in detail.

• Talk me through yesterday between 3pm and bedtime.
• How do you handle the hour after school, when everyone is tired and hungry?
• What do you do when a child refuses to eat, or will not settle for a nap?
• How much screen time do you think is reasonable for a child this age?

You are listening for routines, but also for tone. Do they talk about children with affection and curiosity, or as tasks to be managed? Do they mention reading, singing and getting outside without being prompted?

Values, discipline and boundaries

This is where the real match — or mismatch — shows up. Two people can both be excellent carers and still hold very different ideas about raising a child, so be specific about your own approach before you ask.

• How would you handle a full-blown tantrum in the middle of a supermarket?
• What would you do if my child said, "Mummy lets me do it"?
• How would you tell us if you disagreed with something we do?

The last question is the most revealing. A nanny who can disagree respectfully, and who understands that you are the parents, is worth far more than one who agrees with everything. You want someone with judgement, not someone who needs instructions for every situation.

Safety, illness and the unexpected

Do not merely ask whether they hold a current paediatric first aid certificate — ask them to use it. A scenario reveals far more than a certificate ever will.

• Your child starts choking at lunch. What do you do, step by step?
• A child develops a temperature on a Tuesday afternoon. What happens next?
• Have you ever had to call an ambulance or take a child to A&E?
• Are you happy to give medicine, and only with written consent from us?

Also ask how they would respond if a child told them something worrying, and who they would contact. A calm, confident answer tells you that safeguarding sits at the front of their mind rather than the back.

The questions they ask you

A strong candidate will interview you right back. The best nannies want to know about your child's temperament, your routines, your rules on treats and screens, and what happens when you and your partner disagree. If they arrive with a list of questions, take it as a good sign — it means they are taking the job seriously.

Before you finish, agree the practical details out loud: pay, holiday entitlement, sick pay, notice period, and whether you will both sign a written contract. Many families then invite a shortlisted candidate back for a paid trial session of two or three hours. It is the single best way to check that the person who interviewed so well is also the person who settles happily on the floor with your child.

Finally, notice how you feel. Skills can be taught and gaps filled, but warmth, reliability and honesty are much harder to come by. If your instinct says something is off, trust it — and if a candidate puts you instantly at ease, watch how they are with your child before deciding. That hour will tell you more than any answer.